A AN: Omg I made this title! Lovely Experience
by TheGoldenAss
Summary: Romance is not what you do in your pants.


**Forward**: Satire can be a very difficult genre to write for. The biggest fear I have is when I'm putting either too much or too little into the comedic aspect. The key point of satire is to critique a subject in life that the writer does not like or agree with and by writing in attemp to show that change is needed on the subject of choice. The satire has to work in away that will make it obvious to the reader that something needs to be changed, and that the piece itself is not a part of the problem, or does not have any real significance (depending on your use of comedy). When writing this piece, I often wondered if I went too far. However, looking back, I feel that it is good that the satire is so intense, just to show how unbearable these shenanigans are to me. Don't get me wrong. I like romance. I like to masturbate as much as the next person. But sometimes writers can go a bit overboard. I hope this story illustrates my point to the reader.

**A (AN: Omg I came up with this title!) Lovely Experience!**

(AN: Okay u guys its lik my 4th fanfic or something, so be nic k? Enjoy! LOL I know you will LOL I such a narc! XDDD!!1)

Hiei was very excited. Today was a beautiful day and he was very excited. He had just watered the beautiful plant he had been growing for Kurama and was ready to give it to him (AN: Awww, so kawaii! Hiei is so kawaii he loves Kurama! //////!!!!1). He picked up the pot the plant was in and prepared himself by doing face flexes to make sure he wouldn't give away his look of nonchalance when in fact he was very joyous (AN: Whoa big words lol. He's so kawaii, he needs to give into his feelings XD LOL!0

He picked up the plant (AN: Cuz he put it down, I hope tat made sense ///) and kissed it for good luck (AN: I guess he's into superstitions or something lol) and went out the door with it. He was walking down the street holding the plant dearly and thinking fantasy thoughts about Kruama, with his beautiful naturally colored violet red hair, and beautifully naturally colored green eyes, and his beautiful…well…_you know_ (AN: ///////////////////////////////////// *superblush*) and in his state of day dreaming, Hiei didn't notice that, a gargantuan demon dog, the same shape, size, and sound of a regular dog, but clearly a demon, ran out of no where and grabbed the pot with his teeth, and hiei was baffuled! (AN: Oh noes! That's wat u get for thos naughty thoughts young man! (AN: LoL I called Hiei a young man!)!)

Oh noes! Thought Hiei, What will I do now!

But he remained calm, because he didn't want to let loose of his come complexion (AN: Oh Hieie, when will u lrn? Amirite? XD Lol, I love 4chan1). Hiei started thinking of how he could resolve the problem (AN: Oh btw, the dog ran away somewhere. FUUUUU-amirite? XD LOL).

At first he thought of going to Yusuke for help but then he remembered that the teenager was on some super duper secret mission as requested by Koenma (AN: It's too secret to talk about shhhhh! XD Jk, I"ll explain it in my later worsk! )

Pfft! Thought Hieie. He would probably just say "Suks to be u faggot!"

Yusuke was a homophobe! (AN: Omg I know peple r goin to be so mad at me for doin dis but there is no complete fnafic without a hater! Come on! I'm sorry *beatself* I'll write a fanfic latr makin up for that, with lots of hot Yusuke yaoi! Rawwwr! Iwink*) So it wouln'dt help to tlak to him in the first place.

He couldn't ask Botan either cause she was with Yusuke.

And then Hiei thought to ask Kuwabara. As much as he hated to admit it, Kuwabara was a romanticist, and probably had a great answer as to what Hiei should do. But Kuwabara was too busy being a giant penis to help! (AN: XD Go Hiei! I absolutely HATE Kuwabara )

As Hiei went more and more over his options, all seemed hopless. Either he didn't know the person well enough, or they were completely useless to his cause! (AN: Poor Hiei! What a drag! *cries8)

Suddenly Hiei felt his face go stiff, or stiffer than usual. He suddenly had a hard time breathing and he felt like a demon was tugging at his heart. Warm pulsations spread over his face and neck, and a cold sweat countered and mixed with the heat to create a sickly feeling of uneasiness. This was it, he was going to cry. (AN: Oh noes! I don't want to see him cry! NOOOOObaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa(AN: omg AN inside AN LOL XD)aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww*dies* lol I'm okay, I'm use to dying.)

Just as the first sniffles were coming on, and a few beads of tear drops bubbled on a sad Hiei face, a sudden angelical voice came from seemingly up above! (AN: Can you guess who!?!?!/1 XD) However, it turned out to just be coming from the top of a fence post, but the voice was no less angelic, as it belonged to the majestic figure of Hiei's ever so loved Kurama (AN: I knew it! XD LOL of course I knew it I'm writing it!)

"Whats the matter?" asked Kurama his beautiful voice990-0-[(AN: Sorry! Trying to look for the backbutton! To lazy to erase it tough LOL XDDD)

"It's nothing" Hiei said, not wanting to come off as a wimp, so instead he acted cold (AN: Hiei u dolt!! *smackshiminthoughts* OOOOOH if I could just get my hand on you!...LOL XD)

"Oh Hiei, when will you learn that I know you better than that?" replied Kurama with his gorgeous smile.

"Hmph!" Hiei went. He just turned away (AN: Stop hiding ur true feelings LOL XD!)

"Are you upset because of something I did?" Kurama asked, suddenly giving a small frown that could break a thousand puppies hearts. (AN: GAAAAAAAW*cries&dies*)

Suddenly in blazing rage, Hiei turned will full frontal force and grabbed Kurama by the neck, caught him and surprised him, and started shouting in rage (AN: Omg don hurt him HIei !), "DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT!"

Kurama cringed, but the grip on his neck slowely dissipated. Looking back down, he could see that Hiei's face had now become soiled with tears, and his upper lip was turning red with a heavy bite mark.

"Don't ever think I'm mad at you…I could never…be mad…at…you….ever….ever" Hiei spoke in a daze, with tears rushing down his cheeks. Slowely he collapsed into a childlike position and sobbed uncontrollably. Kurama just starred. He couldn't believe! Could Hiei be showing him the feelings that…he always felt…for him?...(AN: OMG Plot twist! WOW, Kurama feels the same way! Bet u didn't see that comin, didja? I didn't! LOL Yes I did, I wrote it! I'm so smart! Ah! Can't be self respecting! Have to be emu! *beatselfhardlikeamonkekan:lolisaidmonkey*)

Hiei felt his eyes turn red and he felt that he couldn't see anything anymore but hatred and darkness (AN: So emo too! XD) when suddenly a soft feeler poked under his chin and Hiei realized it was a thumb. The thumb proded his head up and his eyes came in contact with the heavenly gaze of Kurama.

"Ok Hiei" Kurama promised, "I won't think of that ever again." He smiled the world's most prettiest smile.

The two embraced while Hiei got out the last of his sobs. While brushing back across each other's faces Kurama whispered into Hiei's ear: "I love you" (AN: AAAAAAAAAIAIIIIIIIII HE DIDI IT!!!! XXXDDD!!!!!11one)

Hiei looked stunned (AN: XD) and couldn't make heads or tails of what to say. But looking back into Kurama's face it all felt natural. He starred and at Kurama's beautiful features and Kurama starred back. (AN: OMG here it comes here it comes!10 He looked at those succulent red lips on Kurama's beautiful face and felt himself moving closer and closer. Kurama gravitated towards Hiei as well. (AN: HERE IT IS! KISSEY TIME! I know you want it!!! XD)

Kurama looked at Hiei. Hiei looked at Kurama (AN: Peanut Gallery: "Just get on with it!" Me: "Shuush! It's coming XD!")

…Then Kurama put his thingie into Hieis you-know-what and they did it for the first time  
(AN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA2342AAAAAAAAAAAA

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